If you have baggage, then best to work it out in individual therapy before pursuing a new relationship, at least to a point where it isn’t affecting your reactions and clouding your judgment. Fantasizing about the future: While men are typically (not always) the masters of game playing, women have this one down pat.
When you catch yourself trying on his last name before the third date, it’s time to remind yourself to slow down.
Unless you can ascertain and directly communicate your needs (by being clear and specific), then you are basically operating on a child level.
While many people get by this way, it is not very effective, and puts you at a disadvantage when you are trying to get your needs met.
A healthy relationship is one between two equals, both giving and receiving in reciprocal fashion.
If you find that you are in a relationship that has a lot of benefits but there are some kinks that need to be addressed, best to discover effective ways of handling these conflicts early on.
If fear of commitment is an obstacle, better to work out your patterns (or schemas) in therapy than in your relationships. If you do it, then you need to pace yourself, and be more considerate of the other person, who you are probably leading on. Not being honest about your needs: Pretending everything is OK can work for only so long.
Being tactful and direct is the quickest path to relationship success. Sacrificing too much to get the relationship: If you find that you are doing things you would not otherwise do to get someone’s attention, like bending over backwards and injuring your spine in the process, then you are entering the land of the doormats.Often people tend to do this if there is a problem with low self-esteem.Valuing yourself enough to put your needs on the table as well as the other person’s is key in establishing balance and harmony.Until you have time to really get to know someone, and see him or her in a wide range of situations, it is helpful to not get ahead of yourself; don’t strongly attach to some illusion that you have created about the person.This can lead to pitfalls of setting up unrealistic expectations and subsequent disillusionment, or depression if the relationship doesn’t work out. Obsessing over details: This one is common with those who worry.