healthy and happy relationships and a happy you), they’ll probably be honest if you are in the wrong. You learn what stuff is small and not worth getting into tuffles over – which are most things.
Life’s short and we only get so many relationships – there’s no point usually in making them full of drama for no reason.
individuals are OK with giving people space (they don’t get anxious) and are also OK being alone, without any partners.
However, they are “one with”, accept, and love intimacy and closeness with others. They enjoy sharing moments and emotions with other people.
It doesn’t seem like the questions are slowing down.
Because of this, I wanted to write a FAQ for the avoider mentality – things I see people are really having problems with and that keep coming up in questions.
They interpret everything their partners or others do as possibly having hidden meanings and that they might leave them.
and she reacted by making sure to speak my primary love language (compliments) a lot, so I always felt loved and wanted to give back.
Maybe they aren’t aware that they are pulling away. Communication solves almost EVERYTHING in relationships – otherwise issues will bubble up in passive-aggressive methods which just eat away at people and take so much energy. making the person think that you are mad at them so that they might notice so that maybe you can talk and maybe get to the situation that might be uncomfortable that might be better just to hint at by not making their lunch every day. But this communication, even though uncomfortable, will lead to much happier times and closeness. Many avoiders are scared of or are not the best at communicating emotions or problems. Yet, in SO many of the questions I’ve gotten, the solution is always open and honest communication with the other’s partner. First, don’t expect that just because you ask for something that you’ll get it. Relationships end when one person can’t give what the other wants, or when two people can’t reach a compromise.
They are afraid of being abandoned when people are angry at them. Sometimes you have to be willing to drop your expectations (e.g. You have to accept people as they are and for their flaws, assuming that they won’t ever change (there’s only so much you can ask for). Third, the point is not to blame, and to take an objective view.
In this sense we were both avoiders, but able to support each other.
This was also the case when we outright said we needed space to think things through or had important stuff to do – It wasn’t the other person’s fault/something they did, we just wanted some alone time. If two adults are emotionally aware enough that they know their own defences, e.g., always pulling away when someone wants more intimacy, and are willing to drop their egos and admit they need some help and also GENUINELY DESIRE TO CONNECT DEEPER, there is no reason avoidant types can’t form relationships together and grow.