As a high school youth minister, I find myself working with kids in the throes of the turbulent dating scene.A scene which I, thankfully, departed back in 2010.So I like to these rules are ways to prevent oneself from becoming bitter and cynical.The goal of dating is to find one's spouse and hand over your whole heart.Then he was shocked when she turned around and left him for yet another guy. It just means you're dating a girl who is willing to cheat as soon as the grass seems greener elsewhere.In either case, the resulting relationship would be toxic.
A “yes” or “no” would have satisfied him, but instead he’s sent away being told that his GREAT JORB as sofa is the very reason why he can’t be something more... : You might notice that the girl you’re interested has started going out with some guy she just recently met. And certainly don’t cite it as an excuse for saying "no". It's your right to make that choice, but as we saw in Rule 1, don't make excuses. "Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled." One might say the rules (and suggestion) above reflect the mind of a bitter and cynical man.Look, the friendship ended as soon as he realized he wanted something more. But in truth, I didn't articulate these rules until after I was happily married.It was only after a great deal of reflection that I saw the patterns which so often lead to bitterness.And I think knowing them can save a lot of heartache. Exceptions to this rule exist, but the odds of being that exception are somewhere between winning the lottery and being struck by a golden meteorite. Rather than a “yes” or “no”, the guy receives an answer like, “I’m busy that night” with no elaboration or proposed alternative. From the girl’s point of view, a guy has sprung a choice on her.Guys are typically tasked with working up the nerve to ask the girl on a date. The key question – (whether she wanted to go on a date) – went unanswered. She wants to say "no", but that would seem harsh and confrontational.